Nothing is as distasteful and upsetting as a chronic complainer, a giddy gossiper or a nonstop negativity nitwit….unless of course there’s one person who qualifies as all three.  You know these people all too well and you feel the effects of them on the job every day.

Maybe you’ve had the delightful pleasure to have your students finally “get it” after many unsuccessful lessons on a particular skill.  So, you bounce into the staff room, bubbling with excitement over their response and eager to share it with your colleagues. 

Just then, Delilah Downer and Corey Crab, without missing a beat, begin picking away at why you shouldn’t get too excited over your success.  “Trust me; they won’t remember that for their exams.  That strategy isn’t really effective.  Don’t let administration hear about it ‘cause then they’ll want everybody try it.”

Soon, your demeanor changes and you literally feel the energy drain out of your body.   Jon Gordon refers to these characters as the energy vampires.  These people have the amazing ability to drag your mood down instantly with their pessimism.

But since we can’t fire them ourselves, we need to find ways to deal with these critical and negative people in the workplace.   We can’t always avoid them either.  So, here are few other strategies to consider:

1. Allocate less time to spend in the company of compulsively negative people. I remember all too well, how I found myself becoming bitter after listening every day to a highly negative colleague.  She found fault with EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.  Remember that whom you spend your time with will impact the person you become.
2. Accompany others so you don’t have to take on the negativity all by yourself. Approach the negative person with a small group of persons to help diffuse their negativity.
3. Assist by providing a listening compassionate ear unless their negativity spirals out of control. People don’t truly want to be negative and they are that way for a reason.  I read a somewhat funny quote that said, “People who are negative are either lonely, broke or bored”.  So when we listen to them, we should use non-committal statements like, “Oh, I see” or “Okay”.  Whatever you do, don’t engage them by going down that rocky road of negativity with them.  Maintain your emotional distance.
4. Adopt lighter topics to lighten the mood. Negative persons are triggered by certain topics such as work.
5. Affirm positive circumstances when dealing with negative coworkers. I did this the other day and was amazed at how well it worked.  A colleague began griping over a new procedure she was required to adopt.  I quickly complimented her on how well she had been implementing it and how others should follow her lead.  Like magic, she left Negative Street and diverted for a while down Positive Lane.  It was refreshing!  Try it.
6. Accept the fact that you can’t change anyone. Once you do, you won’t get so frustrated by negative people.  I’ve learned that hurting people tend to hurt other people.  So instead of lashing back or joining in their onslaught, be compassionate and kind.  Accept them as a work in progress.
7. Acknowledge a higher purpose for such people being in your life. What if these negative people had a divine purpose for being around you?  Instead of resenting them, we should consider whether God has a profound and significant purpose for sending them.  I believe that some people, like sand paper, help to rub off our rough edges.  The unfortunate thing about this is, we become polished on purpose, while they become useless and discarded.

Whether you’re in your classroom, in the cafeteria, at church or in your community, you WILL bump into negative people.  Whatever you do, don’t allow such people to turn you into one of them.  And don’t take them seriously either.  After all, the real issue they are having is not with you, but with themselves.

Leave a comment:  How do you deal with negative or difficult people, especially those with whom you have to interact?