If you spend any length of time working in education, you WILL encounter the green-eyed monster called ENVY.  No industry is immune to it as long as the emotional beings called humans are involved.

Photo Credit: Lee via Compfight cc

The Impact of Envy at Work

It could be an evil glance, an unjustifiably snide comment or maybe even an outright attempt to sabotage your success. No matter how it materializes, envy stings and it creates serious tension.  Although teachers are usually thought to be fun-loving, kind and cordial, schools are not exempted from this. 

Envy sometimes mushrooms into a debilitating work culture that:

• impedes productivity,
• disrupts teams,
• generates dissatisfaction and stress, and
• causes colleagues to withdraw.

If it festers, it can result in a discontented work environment.  Talk about a real kill joy!

What Is Envy?

Though envy and jealousy usually travel together, they are two distinctly different emotions.  Psychologists agree that while jealousy arises when we fear losing something we already have, envy, on the other hand, occurs when we lack an attribute another person possesses.  In other words, envy is a two person scenario while jealousy tends to involve a third party.

• So, if you experience a tinge of anger over the well-disciplined class a colleague enjoys while your students always seem to be at odds, …..that’s envy!
• If you lament over how smoothly a teacher’s assembly goes when yours is a lack luster display of talent, …..that’s envy!
• And if you find yourself criticizing a wonderful idea offered by a colleague while you have nothing feasible to offer, …..that’s envy….plain and simple!

A Real World Example of Envy

Recently, I listened to a fellow teacher lamenting over a colleague who constantly undermines her contributions.  Her criticizing colleague gripes about the type of homework she gives, ridicules her for the strategies she uses, and even questions her qualifications.

I recognized right away that she was facing the green-eyed monster.  This became obvious to her after I pointed out that her calm demeanor, pleasant disposition, well-disciplined students and even the rapport she has with administrators are just a few things the envious instigator lacks.

Getting a Handle on Workplace Envy

If you are the recipient of envious behavior at your school, you must deal with it skillfully to safeguard your future with the organization.  Here are a few practical tips to consider:

1. Detect and possibly defuse envy during the early stages. Once you maintain a high level of awareness, you can identify when a coworker is beginning to show signs of envy, and stifle it before it mushrooms into full-blown resentment.  Perhaps you could try acknowledging his/ her positive qualities or giving him/ her credit for something done well.  It’s not a magic bullet, but it’s worth a try.
2. Don’t mirror the envious behavior. It’s easy to play the game of “tit for tat”, but it’s not very productive.    If you exhibit negative behaviors toward your colleagues, then they might think it’s only reasonable for them to treat you the same.  So take the higher ground and don’t stoop to their level.
3. Display a genuine happiness for others. Since envious behavior makes us look insecure, we should instead be inspired by other people’s success.   When we feel happy simply because others are happy, we gain a fresh perspective on life.  It’s easier to experience happiness for others when we realize that their success wasn’t achieved to spite us.  So, instead of taking it personal, we should practice generating genuine happiness for others and reap the benefits too.
4. Don’t measure your colleagues’ success against yours. Even though we hate how comparing makes us feel, we do it anyway. Nonetheless, when we measure our success with someone else’s yardstick, we come up short for every time.  This then becomes a breeding ground for depression, low self-esteem and…..ENVY.  We should compliment rather than compare, putting ourselves on the road to happiness and success.

When all else fails, remember that love works.  It’s not an emotion but a behavior, a powerful tool that works even at work.  There will always be people that do some things better than we do.  But our focus should not be on comparing ourselves to them, but on defining what makes us special and using it every day for good.

Leave a comment:  How have you successfully handled an envious colleague?  What do you do when you realize that YOU are the envier rather than the envied?